


Wishful Thinking

by spnblargh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, S4-8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:39:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnblargh/pseuds/spnblargh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Dean loses Castiel, he tells himself he'll get over it. It's harder than he expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishful Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Fic Prompt: Can you do something inspired by or using the song 'The King of Wishful Thinking' by Go West? (anonymous)

 

* * *

I'll get over you... I know I will  
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking  
-  _King of Wishful Thinking_ , Go West

* * *

 

He tells himself he’ll get over him. They’d barely known each other anyway.

The apocalypse has started. And yeah, so the angel’s gone and gotten himself obliterated by an archangel, but he’s already fit to bursting with enough guilt as it is. His brother’s addicted to demon blood and that’s more important. Why waste time wondering about what could have been?

He tells himself he’ll get over him. They’re all about to die anyway.

His brother snaps his fingers and the angel is blown to pieces. It’s gruesome and it makes his stomach clench, but hey, he’s weathered worse. He’s already lost Ellen and Jo, never mind all the other people he’s failed over the years. The angel’s just one more number on the ever-growing list. And besides, why mourn their friendship when Satan’s wearing your brother’s skin?

He tells himself he’ll get over him. The angel had gone off the deep end anyway.

Once the angel sinks into the lake, it hits him that he’s never had much opportunity to mourn the angel before. There was always the Apocalypse to worry about before all of this. Besides, the angel may have been one of his closest friends - like family, even - but he’s still got his brother and he’s still got Bobby. Why think about a traitor who screwed with his brother’s head?  
  
He tells himself he’ll get over him. He should have expected it by now anyway.

He let the angel down. He couldn’t save him. No surprises there, huh? After the Leviathan fiasco, he drank more, slept less, and couldn’t get the angel out of his mind. Hell, he’s not even sure why it’s so hard to live without him. He has an idea, he supposes, but he can shove it down like everything else. Why worry about it when he’s got a million other things to worry about?

He tells himself he’ll get over him. But he’s so tired.

He’s just _so_ tired.

There are angels burning down from the sky and _holy crap, Cas, are you still alive? Give me a sign, damn it, I can’t do this without you! I need you!_

_I need you._

He tells himself he’ll get over him. Then the angel shows up on his doorstep.

He wraps his arms around him and doesn’t let go.


End file.
